Unrighteous Anger

I was watching this documentary last night on CNN about the assassination of JFK.  As I watched, I tried to put myself in 1963 and feel the pain that millions of Americans felt on that day.  And then I thought..."if the same thing happened to our President today, would I feel that same sadness?"  I'd like to think I would...but I could feel deep down the doubt in my heart...that maybe I wouldn't be all that sad.  And that made me really sad.

In light of recent events in our country, to say that I have been frustrated is indeed an understatement.  I believe some of that frustration is valid.  But somewhere down the line, that frustration has planted its little seed, slowly growing into an ugly weed that progressively wants to claim more of my heart.

A few weeks ago at church, the pastor talked about the difference between righteous anger and sinful anger, and how Jesus himself felt righteous anger towards those who were dishonoring God.  I remember learning about that concept a few years ago, and I always used it as a way to justify the frustration I felt against certain political people and ideologies.  But then after that sermon, my cousin brought up something that I never thought about.  He said that while Jesus had righteous anger, He was also perfect and never sinned.  And so He could perfectly control that anger and feel and express it in a way that was not tainted by hatred or bitterness.  I'm not saying that it's impossible for us to feel righteous anger, but after he said that, I seriously started questioning whether my anger was truly righteous or could ever be righteous.  Maybe it was like the feeling that the Jews had in Acts 2 after Peter tells them about Jesus whom they crucified, and they were "cut to the heart."  I don't want to be too dramatic and say it was like a sword that pierced my heart and convicted me....but more like the Spirit has recently been poking me in the side and saying, "Kristina, you need to watch yourself." 

Satan is a scary little bugger.  He has a way of taking small things and making them into big things.  Tiny bits of anger that come up here and there easily fuse into a huge monster of hatred that casts its shadow over you continuously.  And then before you know it, that bitterness consumes you so much to the point that you question whether or not the death of a particular person would sadden you.  What a grievous realization.

So let me cut to the chase here.  This is in no way me resigning the political ideologies I hold or deciding to be apathetic to the circumstances of our country.  But this is me confessing the sinfulness of my frustration and anger in the realm of politics.  This is me confessing that I have let Satan gain a foothold on my heart and declaring that Jesus can set me free from the bonds of bitterness.  This is me realizing that, in the midst of my anger, I get caught up in my tiny little mind, and I forget the grandness of God and the sovereignty of His plan for the whole world.  And I can lose sight of what's most important:  that at the end of the day, whether you're on the Right or Left of certain issues, Jesus is the Son of God, and He came to this world so that we might live.  I pray that this truth would shape my attitude towards everything, that I would be able to take a step back from every situation, good or bad, and rejoice in the One who is Himself slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.  As David says in Psalm 131, I pray that I would not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me, but that I would calm and quiet my soul before the Lord and submit to His wisdom that infinitely surpasses my own.

It's times like this that truly amaze me because every time Jesus shows me how much I suck and how much I desperately need Him, He also makes more real to me how much He loves despite the wickedness of my heart.  I hope I can learn to love like He loves.  I hope I can learn to respond to frustrating situations with grace first.  I hope I can learn to truly care for those who have different opinions than me, instead of just saying that I do.  It will be an interesting and challenging journey trying to balance my strong convictions with a heart of love.  Good thing Jesus does the transformation and not me.

How Macklemore's Same Love Led Me to Cherish the Gospel

A few days ago, I was sitting in the backseat of my friend’s car when the song, Same Love, came on the radio.  Now normally, when I’m driving, I change the channel pretty quickly when I hear this song come on.  But before you start to judge me, let me at least say, I do this with a lot of songs on the radio, not because I’m super righteous and refuse to listen, but just because…I don’t know…the songs on the radio aren’t that good these days.  And they get over played like crazy.  Anyways, so when Same Love came on, my friend asked if I liked the song, and I immediately said, “No.”  I’m not sure if he even finished his question before I answered.  I could tell my response wasn’t received very well.  I don’t really blame him; I think I said it pretty forcefully without even realizing it.  As a self-proclaimed conservative Christian, it’s probably given that the song makes me feel uncomfortable, which is why my reaction was so strong.  But then I thought, maybe before I dismiss the song, I should read the lyrics and really try to understand what Mr. Macklemore is saying.  So today, during my drive home from work, I heard the song on the radio and decided not to change the channel.  What follows is my train of thought...

               My analysis isn’t very comprehensive, nor can I say that I understand most of what he’s saying.  In one part, it even seems like he, himself, is unsure of what he’s saying (“And God loves all his children is somehow forgotten, but we paraphrase a book written thirty-five-hundred years ago. I don't know.”).  I thought it was kind of funny that he said “I don’t know.”  I also don’t understand how a man who seems to be criticizing the convictions of a people who follow an outdated, thirty five hundred year old book, still thinks it makes sense to use portions of this book for his own agenda (“Love is patient, love is kind…”).  That just boggles my mind.  Anyways…the point of this blog isn’t to address the logical flaws I see in some leftist thinking or to argue my right wing conservative stance.  The point of this blog is to address how I feel about this song as a Christian and to offer some thoughts to other Christians out there who may feel conflicted as I do about so controversial a topic

 

I should state now that all thoughts from this point on are given from the perspective that practicing homosexuality is a sin, the same way that lying, stealing, cheating, sexual adultery, pride, greed, etc. are all sins that merit the same punishment from a perfectly just God.  I’m not going to go so far as to say that being homosexual is purely a choice.  But engaging in homosexual behavior is a choice, and I believe, a sin, in the same way that being tempted is not a sin, yet acting on that temptation is. 

As Christians, we must all remember that we all deserve death because we are by nature sinful beings, and there is no way we can bridge the gap between ourselves and a holy God.  I hope I am correct in my theology when I say that because God is holy, he must punish evil, unless the price of that sin is somehow paid for.  And that’s where Jesus comes in to the picture.  In God’s loving mercy, knowing that we cannot ourselves bridge the gap, He bridged the gap for us, sending His son to pay the price for all humanity for all time.  Jesus' sacrifice on the cross was the ultimate act of redemption for a world bound by its sin.  Through His death, the debt of our sin was paid, and God’s criterion for justice was satisfied.  But the good news does not stop there!  Not only was our debt paid, but we were offered the answer to a new life, a life in which we are no longer ruled by our sinful hearts, but are given a new heart from above so that we may live as a new creation.  Because Jesus’ life did not end in death...though He took on the sin of the world, death had no hold on him.  By conquering death and rising to life, He showed us His victory over sin, the same victory that we can share in when we choose to believe in who He is and His power to save us.

               I want to say for the record that not supporting same-sex marriage is not equivalent to hatred of homosexuals or thinking of them as lesser human beings.  Shocking, right?  I know.  Maybe it’s because, in our world today, who you are is so closely linked to the way you live.  If you disagree with the way a person lives, you are being intolerant; tolerance means you accept their lifestyle.  But many instances in Jesus’ life show that He both loved sinners, but was intolerant of their sinful living, calling them to sin no more.  Loving someone does not mean being okay with the sin in their lives.  To me, it seems that Jesus’ love was rooted in genuine concern and care for sinners, coupled with a desire to see them turn away from their self-destructive lifestyles.

               “But Kristina, how can you say you love them but then reject who they are?  If homosexuality is not a choice, it is part of who they are.  How can you oppose that?”  As a Christian, I believe we should reject “who we are.”  Jesus says in Mark 7 that what defiles a man comes from his heart.  “For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”  If our heart is who we are, then it seems clear that Jesus calls us to reject this heart.  He says in the next chapter: “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”  Jesus has said that we are by nature sinful - that out of our hearts comes evil.  And He has said to deny, not follow, who we are.  We are called to follow Him, not our own hearts.  But what is the point of denying ourselves?  By rejecting who we are as sinners and soaking in who Jesus is, we allow Him to transform us to be more than who we are.  We must hold on to that promise - that God is continually molding us to be more and more like His Son.  As we continually choose to deny ourselves to follow Him, we allow Him to show us that we are not our sin, but new people who can overcome sin just as Jesus overcame the grave.  Do you believe that you are more than your sin?  Or do you hold on to the lie that your sin is what defines you?  I know I struggle with this a lot.  But be reminded:  if you have chosen to follow Jesus, you are a new creation who can win the war over sin because Jesus already has.

               If you’re not a Christian, and you’re reading this, first, I want to say thanks for hearing me out this far.  Second, I want to ask you:  how are you doing?  Maybe you’re doing just fine, and you are content with your life as it is.  Or maybe, deep down, you feel as though something in your life is lacking.  I want to encourage you that if you’re feeling this way, don’t ignore it.  God is tugging at your heart and asking you to consider Him.  Jesus can and will fill whatever void you may be feeling.  He says in John 8:8, “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”  What does having life abundantly look like or mean?  I’m not too sure myself, but it definitely sounds good.  I think that if you let God in, He will be continually showing you what this means.

               Though there are many things I don’t understand about or agree with in Macklemore’s song, there is one thing that he is (perhaps unintentionally) right about.  The chorus says: “I can’t change, even if I tried, even if I wanted to.”  At first, I thought, what a terrible outlook on life as a Christian, settling for who you are as a sinner.  But then I thought…this guy is so right, even though he probably doesn’t mean to be.  Because it’s true.  We can’t change our sinful selves, even though we want to and even though we try.  Only Jesus has the power to change us.  And we can be sure that if the power to change comes from Him, we will see change.  So thanks, Macklemore, for reminding me that I can’t change myself, even though I want to.  Thanks for reminding me that my only hope in this life is Jesus.  And what a sure hope that is.