Because Alcoa decided to make Good Friday a company holiday
this year, I have the wonderful privilege of not thinking about work for an
entire extra 24 hours. Instead of
pondering why my parts are failing tensile or troubleshooting troublesome
machinery, I get to devote my brain power to reflecting on how good Good Friday
is. It has been a strange last couple of
days as I’ve been reading this book about biblical forgiveness. There should be a disclaimer on the back. Note:
Side effects may include, but are not limited to: sadness, confusion, anger, recollection of
painful memories, crying, heartburn, nausea, indigestion, upset stomach,
diarrhea… (that last bit is just Pepto Bismol advertising). Seriously though, learning about forgiveness
opens up a lot of (mostly) unwanted emotions and thoughts. However, the timing of it all seems very appropriate
now.
As I’m reading through the book,
I’m learning that a lot of us have developed a belief that forgiveness is
something you feel for your own sake so that you no longer have to be burdened
by the weight of bitterness. “You should
let it go so that you can move on” kind of thinking. Perhaps that is partly true since inner peace
is most likely a by-product of the forgiveness process. But I’m not sure it should be our motivation
to forgive.
I’ve also been challenged by the
idea that biblical forgiveness is actually a transaction that occurs between
two parties. It’s not something I just
decide I’m going to do myself and then WHOOSH!
Some warm tingling feeling fills my body, and suddenly I’m at peace! Oh, how I wish it were like that sometimes… What do you do when you don’t want anything
to do with the other party? I like my
party. I don’t need to go to yours. Mine has rage cage, yours is probably lame. I’d rather just say I forgive you and then
forget you even exist. That counts,
right?
So what does Christ-centered, as
opposed to self-centered, forgiveness look like? I’m not sure.
Maybe the difference is that biblical forgiveness is motivated by a love
for Jesus and a desire to be more like the Father, rather than a desire to just
feel good. So if we want to emulate God,
then why did God choose to forgive us? I
doubt it was because He just wanted to feel better and let it go. Perhaps it was because he desired to have our
relationship with Him restored.
When I come before Jesus and ask
for his pardon, what am I really asking for?
Sometimes I fall into the trap of flippantly thinking: “Oops, I
sinned. Let me just take care of that
and say a prayer of forgiveness. Ok,
cool.” How easily I forget what is
really going on here, that each time I sin, I’m choosing what I want over what
He wants. I’m breaking down the
relationship I have with God in which we abide in each other. And yet, when I return to God and ask for
forgiveness, for a restoration of our bond, He is never reluctant to have me
close to Him again. He doesn’t forgive
me, feel good about Himself, and then walk away from me. He actively commits to walking with me, healing
me, growing me.
Restoring that relationship seems
simple now, and it’s easy to take grace for granted. But I forget that it came at a huge
cost. And that is why Good Friday is so
good. Why God commits to continually
choosing to have our relationship restored, at this point, I don’t really
know. I can never pay back the debt I
owe Him, nor does He ask me to. But I
hope He is pleased by my love for Him and desire to see His glory shine in this
world. As I reflect on the day that
Jesus paid the price for me to have a restored relationship with the Father, my
prayer is that this remembrance will shape the way I view and pursue
forgiveness.
Happy Good Friday to you.
