Unchanging

So a couple weeks ago, I was sitting outside Kerkhoff studying for my origins of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam class and this lady walks up to me and introduces herself. She asked me a couple questions like what I was studying for and what my major was. And then she pulled out this little 2x2 booklet and asked if I had ever heard about the Four Spiritual Laws. I didn't know what they were, but I sorta had an idea of where this was going. The cover of the booklet said nothing about Christianity or Jesus, so, naturally, I told her no, I did not know anything about the Four Spiritual Laws. She proceeded to read to me out of the booklet word for word, and I sat there quietly listening to her tell me a shortened version of the gospel story. I didn't have the heart to interrupt her, so I let her finish before I told her that I was already a Christian. And even though I told her this, she still went through the rest of the booklet, explaining to me the importance of accepting Jesus into your heart and all that good stuff. I sorta felt offended...as if she didn't believe me when I said I was already a follower of Jesus. Anyway, long story short, I came away from that experience feeling very...unsettled. I was sorta upset that there were people out there sharing the gospel by reading off a booklet. I was upset that Jesus, the most important part of my life, was being reduced to four main points written on some thin squares of paper. How could someone expect anyone to know the beauty of a life with Jesus in a 15 minute conversation based off some slips of paper? I think the main reason why I was so upset was because I didn't want to be associated with this type of evangelism. I didn't want others to experience someone sharing the gospel with them like this, feel pressured into it, and then assume that I was the same way because I'm a Christian.

I didn't think much more about it for a week or so, until this past Friday, when CQ and I were studying Philippians. There's this part when Paul talks about how people have been proclaiming the story of Jesus out of self-ambition and people who do it out of goodwill. But then he goes on to say, why does it matter? The fact that the gospel is being shared at all is something to rejoice over. This got us to think of an analogy. It's like the gospel of Jesus is a beautiful glass ball. Sometimes the way we talk about Jesus is good and with true intentions, and sometimes the glass ball is tainted by a dirty spec when those intentions are not pure. But the glass ball of Jesus is so huge and so beautiful that this tiny spec really doesn't change how awesome the glass ball already is. It's like the story of Jesus, his mercy and his love, are greater than any faults we have as humans when we try to tell others about it. Anything that we say or do when proclaiming Jesus that may be considered wrong has little significance when you think about the value and truth of his message. The gospel is too beautiful and too great of a thing to be tainted by something as little as our own shortcomings, and our ways of expressing Jesus's message, whether wrong or right, does not change the fact that it is true and good.

All For Love

Invitations suck. I sort of really hate doing them. I think I'm really self-conscious because I fear I'm coming across as some crazy Christian trying to convert everyone around her. I think this fear is so strong that I can't even be completely honest with my parents about all the stuff that's been going on for me spiritually because I'm afraid of what they'll think of me. So usually, when I invite someone to some Christian event, I don't push it. If I feel like the vibe isn't there, I'll back off before I start to seem annoying. But I started to realize that the more you love a person, the less you care about how you are being perceived. I don't think I've ever understood this until two days ago. I was inviting one of my really good friends to, yes, another IV event, and he brushed it off as, yes, another IV event. This is the normal proceeding of our interaction in this sort of context:
1. "Hey, if you're not busy on..."
2. "I think I have..."
3. "oh...okay."
4. move on.

But this time our conversation went a little more like this:
1. "Hey, if you're not busy..."
2. "I think I have an IM soccer game."
3. "Dude. You can miss one IM soccer game..."
4. "We'll see."
5. "Ok.....Hey, you know what...?"

And this is the point where Jesus sort of took over my mouth. I basically told him that I don't invite him to "these things" because I just feel like it, or I want him to just show up, or I want to convert him. He knows that I'm a Christian and that my faith is a huge part of my life. It's who I am. Jesus has done so much for me. He has freed me from the oppression of my own insecurities and from lies I was believing about myself. He showed me greater joy and satisfaction out of life through knowing him that I would never had known otherwise. And the reason why I was inviting my friend was because I wanted so badly for him to experience the same fulfillment that I have because of my relationship with God. I wanted him to at least give Jesus a chance to touch his life the way He has touched mine.

It is out of love that I share this truth with my friend. If I do not share the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, how can we really be considered good friends? This whole interaction made me realize how much I really care about this friend. It's worth feeling awkward, annoying, and pushy if it means that it might bring him an inch closer to knowing Jesus. Jesus is worth it.