Invitations suck. I sort of really hate doing them. I think I'm really self-conscious because I fear I'm coming across as some crazy Christian trying to convert everyone around her. I think this fear is so strong that I can't even be completely honest with my parents about all the stuff that's been going on for me spiritually because I'm afraid of what they'll think of me. So usually, when I invite someone to some Christian event, I don't push it. If I feel like the vibe isn't there, I'll back off before I start to seem annoying. But I started to realize that the more you love a person, the less you care about how you are being perceived. I don't think I've ever understood this until two days ago. I was inviting one of my really good friends to, yes, another IV event, and he brushed it off as, yes, another IV event. This is the normal proceeding of our interaction in this sort of context:
1. "Hey, if you're not busy on..."
2. "I think I have..."
3. "oh...okay."
4. move on.
But this time our conversation went a little more like this:
1. "Hey, if you're not busy..."
2. "I think I have an IM soccer game."
3. "Dude. You can miss one IM soccer game..."
4. "We'll see."
5. "Ok.....Hey, you know what...?"
And this is the point where Jesus sort of took over my mouth. I basically told him that I don't invite him to "these things" because I just feel like it, or I want him to just show up, or I want to convert him. He knows that I'm a Christian and that my faith is a huge part of my life. It's who I am. Jesus has done so much for me. He has freed me from the oppression of my own insecurities and from lies I was believing about myself. He showed me greater joy and satisfaction out of life through knowing him that I would never had known otherwise. And the reason why I was inviting my friend was because I wanted so badly for him to experience the same fulfillment that I have because of my relationship with God. I wanted him to at least give Jesus a chance to touch his life the way He has touched mine.
It is out of love that I share this truth with my friend. If I do not share the greatest thing that has ever happened to me, how can we really be considered good friends? This whole interaction made me realize how much I really care about this friend. It's worth feeling awkward, annoying, and pushy if it means that it might bring him an inch closer to knowing Jesus. Jesus is worth it.
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You don't blog that often, but when you, I know its something really important to you.
ReplyDeletei like the part when jesus takes over your mouth. i got a funny mental picture of it. remember how we were talking about steven switching from joking face to serious mode? i totally pictured you doing that.
anyways, good job, i hope your friend goes tonight. your love for your friends inspire me to ask some vb people about IV. in fact i already started to!